Attack of the viral nose snot

Just so we are clear on this.

I have some sort of virus that is in the process of full frontal assault on my immune system and it's making me cranky and tired. In fact, I am now frozen to the bone even though I sitting here wondering if my child really needs all those blankets on his bed and if it would be ok to steal them. I have decided not. But I'm not sure why. The Man on the other hand, well, he is the epicenter of this infection, so I may just steal the blankets off our bed. The Bed, he is sleeping in. But then I'd have to make the bed again when I get in it. Maybe I'll just shiver.

But I promised cookies for the bake sale. So I am making cookies. (Yeah, Nothing says love like influenza in the cookies. Droplet precautions and all.) I reckon, as a working mom, I should get an exemption from those tasks that involved baking or crafting (including any project involving bristol board or a glue gun.)

Funny, I clearly remember feeling completely ripped off when my mom used to bake for other people. Let's face it, us working girls don't usually have time to for the cookies and banana bread (now nut free) as often as we'd like. "How come we don't get the cookies?"I'd whine to her. (Because she was bone tired and double the recipe takes WAY too much brain power. At least that's my excuse.) Maybe that's why it's one of the first things I learned to bake was cookies. Fresh baked cookies.

Fact is cookies and I have a relationship. I run in order to be allowed to eat cookies. I have very rarely met a cookie that I didn't like. This is a good batch. Chocoloate and Butterscotch chip. Yummy. (I have to make sure they are edible.) But no running because of the tennis-ball-sized tonsils and the fact that I feel a bit hazy. Not that any of you know this feeling but that feeling between pleasantly buzzed and hammered... sort of how it feels in my head (minus the slurring.)

Ladies and gentlemen, I am now officially hot! Excuse me while I strip down to my tong. (Not to worry I'll wear an apron.) I am so not looking forward to menopause. What kind of fucked up system is the entrie reproductive system. I bleed once a month -- then just for shits and giggles once that stops, we'll give you massive hot flashes, insomnia, and osteoporosis. And just for fun you can stay bitchy.

Well, the cookies are done. And they need to be packaged.
I hope you are avoiding influenza B and staying healthy. Run a few miles for me ok?

Comments

[Dagny]

Damnit! Now my mom loves you. She used to say, " I cannot be the room mom because I have a job." I used to think, "How hard can it be to bake a few dozen cupcakes? So what if you have a job." Now I know better.

And since you probably got the flu from your son who got it from his classmates, it's only right that you return the favor. When I was teaching the kids would say, "Aren't you sick enough that we should have a sub?" My answer? "Perhaps. But you made me sick and now I'm giving it back."

[kapgar]

I cannot guarantee a "few miles" but I will run for you tonight. I'll push for a mile and a half, if that's okay, while you force the viral snot plug out of your nose.

[Marcy]

Oh my gawd!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA I am DYING of laughter over the second to last paragraph HAHAHAHHAAAAAAA. Totally reminds me of my Mom :-X

[sizzle]

I shall run in my mind for you. Hope that counts. Feel better!

[jerrster]

gads that sounds nasty...

but if you're looking for "the Jesus"

http://jerrster.wordpress.com/

[Absurdist]

This is where I buy cooking from the store. :-)

I won't run a mile for you, but I will clean your kitchen then fall back into bed from being sick since April 9th!!!

[Laurel aka Lily]

Get better soon girl!! I totally get how you're feeling, I lived through it for weeks and then got the throw-up flu....bleck...

take it easy, hot chicken soup, lots of "Bruce" and take those sheets and blankies off the bed and load up on the couch....ahhhh feels good.......

[Shiny]

Yikes! The snot monster has assimilated me as of about 48 hours ago. Sneezing hurts. Catching my breath after sneezing hurts.

Cookies, however, don't make things hurt. :) I suppose I should do some running to make room for 'em...

[Chris]

Feel better!