The lovely and talented Jewel, after a rather rough c-section, welcomed little Ivy to the world almost two weeks. After The Mysterious Sickness left our household, I decided it was probably safe to go out and meet the little trouble maker.
She's adorable and tiny and all in all a very good baby. (Although I think today's cluster feeding was making Jewel slightly nuts.) I'm always a bit hesitant to hold other people's children, but Ivy is pretty darn cute (in that old man with no teeth kind of way) and I got my snuggle in.
And... well... nothing. At all. I mean I think she's sweet and cute. And I can't wait to see who she turns out to be. But there was no fluttering of the ovaries, no longing to have a baby. None. Just a feeling that I am so incredibly happy for Jewel and that family but at the same, I am relieved that stage of my life is over. She talked about a good night's sleep being six hours. And the mystery, of, man what does the baby want now... and I can honestly say. I just couldn't cope with it.
The Man and I made the decision not to have more kids a few years back. He's had the big Vee. The Boy's delivery is one of the textbook cases on what can go wrong. The Man thought I was going to die, and I reckon a number of other people (including the medical professionals) were more than a little concerned. Combined with a strong dislike for the entire first two years of life thing, he really didn't want to do it again. (Specially not with the risk of having to do it alone.) Me, well, I was ambivalent.
But from time to time, I'd hold a little one and feel a tingle. This time nothing. It's back to where we were before I had kids... babies .. not so much my thing any more.
