The Boy goes to a private school and I have to drive him to school. As part of our marching orders, they routinely send us emails about getting our children to school on time. Though I'm all about being punctual usually. School on time is occasionally problematic. You know traffic and morning and can't get my shit together.
When we get to school, I have to fill out the late slip, which includes such pertinent information as name, time and reason. Usually I make up traffic jams and things like "overslept." This morning it occurred to me that maybe, these excuses lacked creativity. And I suggesed a few new ones to the child.
As a result I have been strictly forbidden from putting the follwing thing in the "reason" box of his late slips.
- The turtle ate his homework.
- Took the red pill.
- The police said that the first bell DID NOT constitute an emergency. Tuition payment for next month will be late.
- Tequila. Gin. And Vodka.
- Delayed by a Fringe event.
- These are not the droids you are looking for.
- Hey teacher, leave them kids alone!
- Zombie Apocalypse drill.
- Is that's a blue police box in the yard?
- Late night slaying vampires.
I just don't get it.