Honestly, I was very impressed with my time at the half but the wind picked up. Rachel and I thoughed it out for many miles. We were joined by Julie who was running her first event ever. (Is it just me or is it a bit odd to have your very first event be a marathon?) Julie would join us for a bit. Her running partner decided to run her own race and was miles ahead. Poor Julie was having a hard run. (As would I later on. She just took it slow and finished a few minutes after I did. That is determination.)
So to mile 17 Rachel and I slogged it out. Then I had to pee. Again. (Time #2.) Rachel went ahead -- I never did catch up. (All this before we could exchange email addresses or blog names. Alas. If anyone knows her send her my way.) Tell her thank you for a good five miles. (I would need to go again at mile 22. Don't ask. I had to pee a lot. It's odd. Last marathon I went once. And then only because I figured I should.)
Along the way, we ran by the first batch of marathoners finishing up including Amy Palmiero-Winter. (Amazing!) And some of the the half marathoners. Hard run when you're surrounded by elites.
We hit the pirates water station who fed us CarbBooms. (Strawberry.) Then we hit the interminable road from hell. It a tree lined high way. Went on for miles and miles and miles. (There has got to be a nicer less boring course than this.) Thank god Rachel was there. Seems it was just the three of us along this road (I know there were other runners. In my head there aren't.) My fuel levels were all over the map. I decide to walk a full six minute cycle and eat a granola bar. Helped a bit. To "entertain us" along the way they had funny sign posts. Rachel and I tried to memorize some.
"If Milly Vanilly falls in the forest..."
(a few feet later)
"Does someone else make a sound?" (That dates me doesn't it?)
"Man with hand in pocket feels cocky all day."
It's the dumb stuff.
I somehow managed to coast until mile 20 (all alone Rachel left my bladder and I behind.) Then I just lost it. It was 4h30 in. (I beat my training time for this distance which was well over 5 hours). It's the fact that I had another 10K to go that killed me. And here I was in the middle of freaking nowhere not a course organizer in sight. (There was one about 100 yards ahead.) Complete mental breakdown. There was a guy barfing in the bushes getting help from someone military. All I wanted to do was to stop moving, sit somewhere nice and have a diet coke and a sandwich. But there is 6.2 miles to go, well there is just no other way out of this except to finish. Because I didn't come 700 miles to get a DNF.AND my last training run was in a blizzard. A huge freaking blizzard. This is just like that. So suck it you pansy-ass.
Some DJ was playing Lose Yourself, again. "It's all downhill from here," he said with a chuckle. From the bottom of a hill, 21 miles into a marathon. I am not homicidal most of the time. But I wanted to kill him. Tosser. I am Canadian in the U.S., I reckon they'd call me an enemy of the state and send me to Guantanamo for some water torture.
I found this course of thought amusing And it kept me going until we got to the final stretch. By kept me going I mean it kept me walking. "Ok Nat... it's like Chloe said Lance said "Pain will go away once you cross the finish line. Quitting is forever. Now if you get 23 miles, you'll find civilization again. And all will be ok. You can definitely walk 6.2 in 90 minutes." Here is the thing. It wasn't the pain, it was the fatigue. Mental fatigue. I was just tired of the course, tired of the boring course from hell. And I was just tired. And I wanted to stop.
"Nat, you can't quit because nothing really hurts. The guys didn't drive 12 hours NOT to see you finish. Are you going to die? no. What would make things better? Beer. A joint. Diet coke."
(A lot of conversations with runners that go like this. They: "How's it going?" Me: "Meh. Ok. You?" They:"Ok. I think it's ok to feel that way right now." Deep stuff at the wall end of a marathon.) Longest three miles of my life.
In retrospect I should have plugged in the Shuffle and pounded out the last 6. It would have helped. Except i didn't even have it in me to dig it out. (I don't want to listen to ANYTHING. You know I'm really low when that happens.)
But I soldier on, I get to the water station with the pirates at 23 miles. I know I can crawl three miles before the cut off. I am going to finish. Time to party. So what if it took 6 hours.
The volunteer shouts. "Beer!"
I stop. "Vodka?" (thinking she's kidding.)
"No vodka. But you can have beer if you want it."
"Awesome." (I laugh, thank her for playing along.)
I don't even look take a big gulp. Holy fuck. It's really beer. I look at the guy with the water... "It was really beer," I laughed. He did not seem to find this nearly as amusing. This made life a lot better. I kept me going for a bit. We were going to make it. This is where I meet Janice. At this point we are both tired. And she is walking fast. I decide I will try to keep up with the fast walker. Then she says "You know what I am wondering at this point? I am wondering why I decided to do this, seems to be the half is so much more reasonable." Agreed.
But I was going to finish a marathon, and well the cloud in my mind lifted. I was going to finish this thing.
Then I "dance a little dance and got down tonight" with a volunteer. I sprinted to the end. All smiles, and I am so happy that I got through it. The most beautiful man I have ever seen gave me my medal (they actually put it around your neck Olympic style) and then they wrap you in an oh-so cool metallic blanket, and hand you a finishers cap. (Love those.) Then I felt like a marathoner! Instantly I wanted to do it again. (And I will once my quads forgive me.)
Which leads me to my main criticism for this event. There were by my estimation at least 200 participants behind me (not including the walkers) and there was NO FOOD save the small bag pretzel, a single shortbread cookie and the granola bar in our kits. Not sure about you but I expect at least a banana and a bagel. Then onto to the finishers tent looking for food where I was handed 5 beer tickets. Isn't just a recipe for catastrophe here folks? So I got a beer (they had cool green cups) had two quick sips. Looked for food which didn't exist. Dumped the beer from that cup (which is what I wanted anyway.)
We had left over Krispy Cremes in the hotel. I handed my four unused beer tickets to some runner who was more than happy to take them. The Man went to get me pizza. I ate three donuts (I LOVE DONUTS) while I was waiting. Life is good when these two monkeys are around you know? I am one lucky lucky lucky woman. These guys are too good to me.
I need to thank every one who sent me well wishes and congratulations. I was really touched by ever single comment. I am one lucky lady. Thank you for all the encouragement over the last 20 weeks. I need to find a new challenge. This is this week's goal. Not much running wise (ANGRY quads) just a think.




